Friday, July 22, 2005

jologs na kung jologs...

time surely flies fast when you're having fun. bin and i will be celebrating our 4th anniversary tomorrow! holycow! ambilis!

four years ago, by this time bin had already professed his undying lust for me ahehehe. and if i could describe myself then at this same time, i'd be in a client's office, intensely glaring at my desktop monitor, trying to project the i-kill-when-disturbed look, but actually thinking about "our situation". i'd be probably smiling once in a while, playing over and over what he said [sa min na lang yun!]and what happened the night before [sa min na lang din to!]in my head. i'd look probably impatient to the knowing... counting for every seconds to tick by. because i knew then that when night falls i'd see him again. hehehe drama but true...

ay, it's great to be *inlab*! tom cruise is in his 40s yet still makes a fool of himself because of chubachuchu [or so he projects lang kaya?]. many people search high and low to find, sometimes the elusive, the one [and im not referring to neo hehe]. so finding bin may seem like a stroll in the park in comparison. easy. we may have seen probable odds then, but we couldn't just deny that the feelings were so right. ;)

from that, we made the decision to be together. we started to do things together, visit new places together, experience life together. it's all what i perceived happiness to be. :)

but soon enough, in between all the joys are the trials. little arguments were sometimes blown out of proportion. most of the time, by me. hehehe i was this ma-pride person who'd make tiny issues into a matter of life and death. but still bin put up with me.

yes, i was very well-informed that in a relationship one has to take the responsibility, own his/her part to work out whatever is given to begin with. it wont work if it's a one-way thing. i've seen it soo many times. the giving one is bound to give up in the end. and the always receiving one won't just know what hits him/her. it's a pity.

but what has changed in me are not brought by what i've seen from others or what i thought a relationship should be. but from our bitter-sweet friend called experience. a year into our relationship, we had this argument that led in me asking him for a cool-off as much as he disagreed i insisted which brought him to agreeing eventually. but when reality sunk in [less than a minute?] ndi ko pala kaya!!

i learned eventually that angry words when hurled at him are curved blades. it scars us both. that saying sorry does not mean that i am a loser, but admitting that i am ready to see it his way because i believe that he would not want to intentionally hurt me. with that im now giving a conscious effort not to thread the same path where relationships are broken because of ugly pride.

i'd be gago, tanga, inutil, walang kwenta if i'd let him go.

now, i have to strongly object to katie holmes saying that "tom is the kindest, smartest, most adoring man".... my man is much better than that! [bumabawi hehehe]

hope you guys, would disagree with me too in the same light.. any sooner. ;-)

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